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File created: Nov 18, 07
This
is Natalya Kycerova
Natalya
Kozlova
Natalya Kycerova
Natalya Kozlova
Novocheboksarsk, Russia
Here is her
letter...
My greetings ****!
Mine Loved **** I cannot transfer those feelings, that now live in my
heart. All
emotions with which I live every day.
I as if go mad, as if have gone mad, day to live you to not see, as if
a bowl of
poison to drink.
This poison in my body, in my heart and in my ideas. It feeds all me
and without it
I am already simple I can not.
Though I perfectly understand, that any attempts will express feelings
in words are
insignificant, for words it to express it is impossible.
Also it would seem, already for a long time all is told about love, but
each time,
with each new letter, earlier the written words start to be poured in a
new fashion
somehow, forcing heart to tremble.
I am glad, that there is on light a man which I to tell all these words!
Loved I went to agency and all have learned! The passport for travel
abroad is
required to me and for registration of the visa and different
information it is
required to me 500 dollars.
You will help me with this sum?
Write to me the international airport where you can meet me? I shall
write to you
exact cost of tickets.
I perfectly understand, that it very difficultly very dearly to arrive
to you, but I
hope, nevertheless to receive this opportunity and to see you!
All ideas on you. You nest in the heart: at me your aspirations and
memoirs are
located all.
I as though own eyes see all occured in your life up to me.
You are necessary to me as air as water and everything, that gives a
life. As it is
good, that you at me are.
You the most unusual and I do not understand in what your secret. Like
in you there
is nothing unusual and at the same time I go mad of one only ideas on
you.
Each your word, each breath in your letter hits the nail happiness and
I go mad and
simply I lose a head. You as - as if have arrived from other world. You
very much
differ from all men.
And you have brought this world during my life. At you good manners,
brilliant taste
and magic charm. When I am with you, I read your letters, I simply
forget about all
on light.
As I would like to be near to you, to look in your eyes, to embrace and
more nothing
to see around of myself.
As I already spoke, I am ready on all and now I have solved, that the
only thing of
that I want is to connect the life with you. A unique way for they be
to arrive to
you.
It is complex to me to think of essential things when I read your
letters. It is the
world of unsolved sacraments which to me should be learned.
I am ready to pass all this way, in fact I know, that to all to it
there will be a
compensation. And the award to it will be you, and you are all that is
necessary for
me for existence.
Without you I cannot simply live.
As soon as possible I learn, that I will need to arrive to your
country. I certainly
understand, that all this not so is simple as it would be desirable.
But I am assured, that I can pass all this way, in fact you will be a
number with
me, and you will help me with all.
Now I know only that I will need to make the visa and to collect some
documents for
a trip, I think, that it will not make the big work.
I for myself already have solved all and is ready to go towards to the
happiness. I
understand and I expect all difficulties with which I should collide.
I understand, that I am am waited absolutely with other life, that I
should change
completely. Also will change me a life in other country.
Certainly, much frightens me, but I am ready to go on everything to be
near to you.
I am ready to change completely the life, to leave former and to begin
another, for
the present unknown to me.
I am strong and I shall consult with all. If only only you wanted it
and helped me
with all. I shall know, that you beside and me will be easier to
consult with all
complexities.
Tomorrow I shall try to learn everything, that I will need to make.
Near to my work
there is a travel agency where I shall address. After I learn all I
shall let you
know.
In fact I understand as you important to know everything, that to me
occurs. My
darling, I hope, you understand, with what I should collide and on what
is necessary
to me. I completely rely on you and I trust in your help.
I read each letter as the madwoman. I consider each phrase. I try to
experience you
and to understand your ideas, to catch each your breath. I wish to
experience your
life, to learn as you there, as from you business.
You dream me every night, I want, that we always were together, and
nothing could
separate us. I madly miss. Probably at me such destiny, that you have
appeared in my
life, and I never would change it on any another.
I ask from the god only one that you were a number with me and belonged
only to me.
I protect our happiness and our love, I shall not allow anybody to
spoil everything
that we have created. But it is very complex to me to be here one.
My parents see, how I suffer, and they understand, that I feel. They
understand,
that shortly I shall leave them. But they are happy for me. They are
ready to make
everything that I was happy though it it should be experienced with
tears on eyes.
My soul is broken off on two half of that we not together. I every day
suffer that I
can not while to be near to you. With you I have found a peace of mind
and at the
same time the suffering, not giving to me of rest because you so are
far.
Only I wish to connect my life to you. I wish to love you, to care of
you. I am
grateful to parents for everything, that they have made and do for me.
They
understand, that I wish to be happy, and during the same moment they
understand,
that I shall very far.
I cannot imagine as will melancholy. To think of their experiences even
more
painfully. But we is simple people and we can go through all this. So
we become
wiser, we understand and we agree to the price this life.
In fact between us only kilometers. Only whisper also I shall pick up
your idea.
My heart without you as if a wild bird without the sky, without you my
soul as if a
weak fallow deer without a wood, without you my eyes as poured heaps
and without the
child, without you my tear as dew without morning falls.
In fact we know, that will be further. We now need to live simply to
live and enjoy
that that we are. I live in an anticipation of our meeting.
I not time imagined this moment when our hearts will fight with huge
speed and our
ideas behind them will not be in time.
And I shall think here, here it that moment which you so waited, give
speak it all.
But during this moment there will be no words.
I wish to look only at you and to listen to palpation of your heart. I
shall plunge
into a warm bath of your love. I shall be near to your soul.
Tell as you it you represent. It will be very interesting to me to
know, that you
think of it.
I very much hope to go through all this in the near future, in fact it
in our hands.
Allow to live.
I embrace you and I give the ideas.
And at last I wish to present you my most favourite poem, its author
Kamings.
I bear your heart in myself
Your heart in mine...
Never to leave I it
And where I shall go
You with me dear.
All business and my acts I shall divide
I with you
My pleasure.
I am not afraid of destiny.
For you to me destiny and a star
All world is not necessary to me!
You my world!
My true and beauty
This secret known many,
It is a root of roots
Trunk of trunks
The sky of heavens
Tree a name a life
Growing above dreams of soul and mind inspiration
This miracle storing stars from death.
I bear your heart
Your heart in mine...
I shall wait for your letter with greater impatience. I hope that with
following
your letter my life to change. Yours Natalya.
Natalya Kycerova
Natalya Kozlova
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