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File created: Sept 13, 07
This
is Marina Isaeva
working with Elena Protasova
Here is her
letter...
Hello my love ****!! LOVE of all my life!!
I liked your picture, you are very beautiful.
Thank you again and again for your kind letters! My angel, my fairy - tale,
my sweet dream! Oh, I full of feelings to you, ****!! My heart does not want
to live apart from you any more! I have never thought I will manage to love
again!! My love to you is deeper, bigger and more beautiful than one I had
before!! But you are so far from me now and there is a great hindrance on
the way of our love.I do not even know how to tell you about it. It is
terrible, I just do not know what to do.I went to pieces.The point is
that.do you remember, in my previous letters I told you I was about to
collect all necessary information to be able to come to you? With the help
of Izolda's aunt Oksana, she lives in Moscow? So I do and.all this is just
unbearable for me. There are no problems to collect necessary documents to
come to you she said; she will help me with pleasure but all the documents
and entry visa will cost 400 euro she told me. I was shocked.I just could
not find a word, I. You know it is an incredible sum for me.
Even to my family.We live in Russia, in a small town. Moreover I work at the
state library. And my salary is about 1150 rubles a month (it is about 30
euro). It is not much, you know. It is just a bare profit!! So, of course I
do not have such sum of money. I simply can not have it! So, when I heard
that I have to pay this money only for paper work and visa I was. it is too
hard to put it into words. I was. it was a great disaster for me. I asked my
parents if they can help me with money. My mother broke down because of this
news. She told that they do not have such money. I knew it of course, but I
wanted to try.
I decided to borrow money. I asked all my friends and colleagues too but I
was not a success. They are poor common people and they do not have such
money. My mother told me that I can take a loan from our bank. At first I
was glad that finally I found a way out! So I called to the bank and was
said to come to bank and to talk to the manager. I hoped that they will help
me. But when I did, the manager of the bank told me that it is impossible.
Oh, you just can not imagine how unhappy I was. The manager told me that I
can not take a loan from the bank, because I want to go abroad. And they do
not accommodate people with a loan in such cases. Can you imagine it? Oh,
****!! My dear ****! It is incredible thing! It is a disaster! My heard is
simply dying for being with you, my love, my dear friend, my ****!! And what
will I do without you? Tell me; tell me please, what I should do then!! How
can I live without you, my ****?! You are all that I have in my life,
believe me, ****!! My dear ****, we were so close to each other and we are
so happy together, darling, tell me, what I should do without you?!! And how
will you live without me? Our love is so strong, my ****. I can not imagine
my life without you ****! You gave me the gladness of life! You allowed me
to feel that I am loved. And you allowed me to give my love to you!! Who can
change the situation now? Only God knows the answer. We live in different
countries, you know. I am sure that you do not make both ends meet like my
family do. But of course, I do not want to burden you with expenses, no, of
course not! At the same time, I have no opportunity to come to you and to be
with you, my ****! My dear ****!! Tell me, what should we do than? What
should we do with our feelings?! I have never loved anyone like you. You are
everything for me! I need you like breathe!! You made me so happy. I thought
we would be the happiest pair in the world. I dreamed about it every moment,
every second. I imagined our meeting, our future life and what then?!
I have no right to ask you to help me, to put it more precisely - to help
us. I know that our love is mutual!! My dear ****, I do not have this
right!! But at the same time I have no money to come to you.
I do not want us to lose our love, my dear ****! I do not want to think that
400 euro will be an insurmountable obstacle to us to be happy together!! So
what else can I add? We have a choice - to start a new happy life together
or to lose each other forever..What do you prefer?! As for me I want to be
with you for ever! God gave us such a splendid opportunity to find our
happiness! To be together! To love and to be loved by each other! Can we
allow this small problem to spoil our happy future life?! What is money? It
is just a mean to achieve our aim, and nothing more. And our aim is to be
together and be happy. That's it! I do not have any right to say the next
words, but it is really so, believe me - now everything depends on you, my
****. My dear ****! Please, do not leave me to the mercy of fate.I pray.
My eyes found the paper
white sheet, filled with signatures
scribbles of names and such
black ink covered the page
Front to back, top to bottom
names of those you love
people who touch your heart
writings you had left behind
Within the names you wrote
was a message written in bold
your heart left it for me, It reads
"I love you very much"
Such a chaotic female
for I did not notice it, until today
it may be just a few scratches
but to me, it was a priceless reminder
A message of what I have
deep love from a man
who wants nothing else
but to simply love me
Love You, miss You, wait for Your decision, Very truly yours Marina.
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